Nose Hair

This time it's something a little less serious.

Why do we have nose hair? I know the scientific answer: they act as filters to keep debris and other particles from entering our lungs. But as I've gotten older, it seems like my body feels the need to filter out particles the size of Honda Civics judging by the length and number of hairs accumulating in my nostrils. You would think that evolution would have provided a better answer for filtration than nose hair.

And don't even get me started on the fucking hair in my ears!

Christian Hypocrisy

I've got a bone to pick (what, you thought this would be a shiny happy post? Read the title of the blog, dumbass). Who am I grinding my axe against this time? Christians.

More and more, especially given the intense (and intrusive) media coverage in today's society, we see some religious leader condemning someone or something because of a moral failing or sin. And every last time I see a "Christian" castigating another human being my blood pressure rises just a bit. I won't claim to be a great biblical scholar, but I could hold my own in a theological debate. And nowhere, in any translation you care to name, have I ever read where Christ told his disciples to point their finger at someone who sinned and say "Shame on you".

Their popularity has waned over the last few years, but everyone has heard of or seen one of those silly plastic bracelets inscribed with "WWJD". "What Would Jesus Do". Whenever I see one of these "Christian leaders" stand on their bully pulpit spitting scorn and derision at whatever their target of the day is, I can't help but wonder what exactly would Jesus do in the same situation? If Jesus were among us today, would he be in support of gay marriage? I think it would be a safe bet to say probably not. Would he, with the same breath, condemn those people that are gay, telling them they will burn in hell for their sins? I would honestly have to say, probably not. Wait, before you get all pissed off, let's look at a really good example here, two in fact (I don't have the relevant book, chapter and verse for you, nor have I ever cared to memorize it...I'm sure there are people in hell who can quote the Bible, much like there are people in heaven who never learned to read so I don't think memorizing scripture is high on God's wish list for us). Jesus had two encounters with women who liked a pinch and tickle from men who weren't their husbands. In both instances, we don't see Christ pointing the finger of blame or even of superiority. In the case of the adulteress, he does the opposite. He points the finger at those who are condemning her for her misdeeds. The second instance is where he meets a prostitute at a well. No scorn or mockery, just simple understanding. Yes, he tells her to stop whoring (in so many words) but he never condescends or insults her.

Yes, I can hear the Bible thumpers screaming now: God hates sinners! Um, no, he doesn't. God hates sin. Big, big difference. Yeah, God wiped out Sodom and Gamora because they were having crazy butt sex with each other. But God didn't hate them. Those people lived under the old law that did not include the dispensation of grace (for those of you that rode the short bus to Sunday school, grace is the thing that allows us to ask God for forgiveness when we do sin...prior to Christ, there was no grace). That's what the old law was all about: follow the rules or die, there was no other option. Man, I really got off track there, but I felt it necessary to offer a pre-emptive counter argument.

So, we have two examples where Christ himself was in a situation to point the finger of blame and instead chose to extend the hand of compassion. Now, seeing as the word Christian literally means "Christ-like", shouldn't everyone who professes to be a Christian be following his example? Instead we get a holier than thou attitude more in line with those pesky enemies of Christ, the Pharisees. So when I see someone who calls themselves a Christian stand up and deride another person (Christian or no) it really makes me wonder just how "Christian" they truly are? Furthermore, one of Christ's commandments was to love one another, not piss on them when they are down. Yet, all to often, these "Christians" are the first to point out the flaws in others or condemn them for their failings.

So, if you have ever asked yourself, what would Jesus do if he were among us today? He'd probably sit down and cry over those people who condemn others while professing to live by his word. Then, I'd like to think, he'd (pardon the expression) come down on them like the hand of God. Lord knows that some of them deserve it.

Send his kids

So, Jenna Bush is getting married Saturday. It's a big ol' Texas sized wedding at the Dubya ranch. My question is this: Why isn't she in the Army, fighting in Iraq?

Michael Moore, one of my most favorite people in the whole world, asked some Congressmen with children of enlistment age if they would tell their kids to sign up for the armed services (the responses he got ranged from silly to hostile. You can watch it on the Fahrenheit 9/11. Everyone needs to watch that movie). The idea that these people WHO VOTED TO GO TO WAR wouldn't want their kid in a war zone is just plain disgusting. That's like saying to your kids that you can buy your sundries from Walmart but there is no way in hell they're going to work there.

So, why isn't Jenna over there? Or Barbara (Dubya's daughter, not his mother)? How is that Dubya can send tens of thousands of OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS to a war but he won't tell his own children to go? In damn near every speech he gives on Iraq, Dubya talks about how great an honor it is for the US service men and women deployed over there, how they are fighting to enrich the lives of the noble Iraqi people. Well, if it's so fucking great, why aren't his daughters over there? Does avoiding active military duty run in the family?

And before you start, I actually did sign up for the Army. I was a delayed entry recruit, signing up in the summer before my senior year in high school. Unfortunately, a car accident robbed me of my hearing, disqualifying me from going. Maybe that's why the Bush twins can't go. Maybe they tried, but got disqualified for some reason? Shit, Prince Harry was in Afghanistan. It's a sad day in American history when the British will send their royalty to fight but our elected officials scoff at the idea of their own sons and daughters in harm's way.

Redundancy at it's finest

My mother is one of those home decorator types. You have to see her house to appreciate it. There isn't a wall or bare space in the joint that doesn't have some type of decoration. It's like something you would see in Southern Living or something.

So it wasn't too much of a surprise that she has decorations in her laundry room. What was a bit jarring was the decoration itself. I love my mother to death but even I was a bit disconcerted by the wood lettering on the wall next to the washer and dryer. It reads: Laundry. Isn't that just a bit redundant? I mean, that's like putting a sign over the toilet that reads: Shit here.

I'm as much a fan of decorating your has as the next person, but this is just a bit too much, I think.